After fentanyl killed her soulmate, recovering drug user fights to end stigma of addiction

The last time Dudley saw Duffy alive, they were arguing about him going to get treatment.

"He thought he might lose his job," she said. "He was fearful to reach out and admit that he had been using and get help."

"The stigma, even for people in recovery, it’s strong," Dudley, herself a recovering addict, said.

Duffy, 32, died May 2, 2021.

"He passed away due to a fentanyl poisoning, which is what I refer to it as, because it is," Dudley told Fox News.

'He saved people's lives'

Since Duffy's death, Dudley has fought to end the shame associated with addiction in hopes that fewer people will silently suffer until it's too late to seek help. She's convinced stigma prevented her "soulmate" from seeking help.

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"Addiction doesn't discriminate. It doesn't have a face," Dudley said. "It is everybody."

Duffy, who went by his last name, was born and raised in Annapolis, Maryland where Dudley and her son still live. Like so many others, Duffy got hooked on opioids through a legitimate prescription — he'd initially been given OxyContin in high school for a back injury, Dudley told Fox News.

But when prescription opioids became unaffordable, Duffy turned to a cheaper and more accessible option: heroin. Later, his drug of choice became cocaine and other amphetamine-like substances, though he would still use opioids to come down from the stimulants.

Dudley met Duffy in recovery almost five years ago. He'd been clean for about a year, but had intermittent relapses, with his longest period of sobriety stretching four years.

"Duffy was charismatic, he was funny," Dudley said. "He was giving and loving and vivacious and had a lust for life that most people don't."

The two quickly built a life together and had their son, Luca, who is now 3 years old. While in recovery, Duffy was focused on physical health and was passionate about helping others.

Eventually, Duffy got a job as a peer support specialist for the Anne Arundel County Health Department in Maryland, a position created in part of the county's effort to battle the fentanyl crisis.

"He saved people's lives," Dudley said. "I was so proud of him."

"He was so amazed to be able to do that as a job with everything he'd been through," she added. "Turned his pain into purpose."

'Addiction doesn't discriminate'

Early in 2021, Duffy's mental health began to turn. The couple's hectic work schedules became even busier with a toddler — and Dudley's father died of pancreatic cancer.

"I was definitely aware that Duffy was struggling," she said. "He was very depressed."

Duffy sought out a therapist who he ultimately didn’t connect with. Instead, he turned to alcohol, thinking it was a substance he had control over. Soon, Duffy was abusing drugs again after nearly three clean years.

Addiction is "never what you think it looks like," Dudley said. "It stems from trauma, it stems from mental health issues, it stems from pain."

"He tried to stop, but he couldn’t," she told Fox News. "He was essentially using against his will."

After two months, Duffy promised he would get help after just one more score.

But he never came home.

Duffy unknowingly bought drugs laced with fentanyl, a synthetic opioid 50-100 times stronger than morphine, according to the National Institute of Drug Abuse.

"Fentanyl is terrifying," Dudley said. "It keeps me up at night. It makes my stomach turn."

Dudley was headed out with Duffy's mother to look for her partner when she received a call from the hospital. Duffy had been found hours after overdosing and was still unconscious since no one with him had Narcan.

Duffy was on life support for three days before doctors declared him brain-dead due to a lack of oxygen. He was taken off life support two days later.

She reflected on Duffy's reluctance to seek help. He was afraid he'd be judged for his addiction — something Dudley considers a sickness.

"To treat this as some type of moral failing to me is mind-boggling," she said. "It's really a medical issue."

"We all need to know what fentanyl is, what it's in, and educate the people around us because it's a public health crisis," Dudley added.

Drug overdose deaths surpassed 100,000 for the first time in U.S. history in 2021, according to the CDC. Over 64,000 of those deaths were due to synthetic opioids like fentanyl.

"This is coming in over the borders," Dudley said. "The border policies are failing."

"And I don't want to make it political, but it's just a fact," she added.